Losing The Repository Of All My Secrets

When you lose a best friend, especially one that you’ve known since childhood, it is beyond devastating. And unlike other losses, which somehow get better over time, this pain never seems to lessen.

In my case, I met my best friend when we were 5 years old. We both wore the same dress the first day of school and from that day on we were inseparable. Even when I was 13 and my family moved, we stayed in touch and visited each other. Even when I went to college and then later when we each married the men of our dreams, we were as close as ever. No matter what the time zone, geographical distances or financial situation (this was before unlimited friends and family plans), we talked for hours like we were 11 years old all over again.

I’ve often wondered why there is such a special bond with your best friend. Obviously it has a lot to do with shared memories. But I think its more than that. I think there is a definite thing that happens over a long time with 2 girlfriends. It’s a different bond than what you have with your spouse or your parents. I think when you lose the repository of all your secrets, desires, wishes, dreams and disappointments, it leaves a gaping hole that simply cannot be filled. And when you bury your friend, as I had to do nine years ago, you bury yourself right there next to her.

Her funeral was like it was my funeral as we knew all the same people. Every story that was shared I already knew.

I’m sad I don’t have anything of hers. Unfortunately, she didn’t leave any instructions so when she died all her stuff was given away or it went to others. I know she would have wanted me to have that gold watch she always wore or maybe her purse collection or that hideous vase she loved. It wouldn’t have mattered what it was or if it was valuable or not.

So I encourage you to look at your estate plans and don’t forget to include a little something for your best friend. The smallest thing can provide a little solace when she misses you most because nobody laughs at her stories like you did.

by Madelyn Hammond

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